awestruck

I had an amazing opportunity this weekend to practice with some of my yoga heroes Briohny Smyth and her husband Dice Ilda-Klein at, where else but, Green Monkey.  They were two of the sweetest people I have ever met, and I loved every second of their class even when sweat was dripping in my eyes and up my nose. Yes, I was upside down enough that sweat had the opportunity to drip up my nose. This was a special class, not just because of how much time we spent on our hands instead of our feet but because of the level of the people practicing next to me. 

People were doing some cirque du soleil freaky stuff that mere mortals don't can't do. I won't even tell you what Dice and Briohny (who by the way is 5 months pregnant, gorgeous, and still doing handstands) were doing because it was the stuff that yoga deities are made of, but watch their videos and you'll have a good idea. Their version of giving variations sounded something like this: So, you're going to float into a handstand (I'M GOING TO WHAT?), you could then come down into a one legged crow, maybe you want to come back into handstand, and switch sides, maybe a one handed handstand, maybe you want to levitate, OK yogis get to it! Watching my fellow yogis float into poses with ease that I can only hope to one day shove myself into was inspiring.  

Its easy to look up at the beautiful people around you with contempt from your sweaty blob on the floor, but instead I looked up with wonder. These peeps were doing AMAZING things, and one day I'm going to do those amazing things. I had the perspective of a beginner again. I remembered what it feels like not to be able to do most things, to look around at everyone else, and feel that pang of jealousy that what comes so easily to them is the biggest challenge you have ever faced. 

I am incredibly guilty of not wanting to do things that I'm not good at. I was reminded of this the other day when my girlfriend asked me to guess what something was and I flat out refused. I had no idea, so I was bound to be wrong. Why bother to try if you are sure to fail? 

And yet I've never had this perspective with my yoga, I fall all the time in yoga. I tell my classes stories all the time of my yoga failures and I have no shame in them at all. I’ve talked before about how who you are on the mat is who you are in the world, but maybe for me that isn’t true. I think I’m might be a better version of myself on the mat than anywhere else. I am able to practice all of the qualities I most admire true effort, compassion, truth, grace, gratitude and surrender, with ease on the mat, not so much in life. Perhaps a little perspective shift is in order. Rather than let my day-to-day life choices be dictated by a fear of failure, I could take my yoga perspective off the mat and into the rest of my world. 

What if this week you challenged yourself to be a little more like your yoga (or running, cycling, zumba-ing, kickboxing, meditating, or whatever else you do) self and less fearful? 

Namaste,

Rachel 

resolve

I'm a goal setter, I love a new year's resolution. I always find that as I start to think about my resolution, or goal for next year, I look back at last year and assess what I'm leaving in my wake.

self- practice with the puppy at home

I am of the strong belief that every moment of your life is a lesson. If you choose not the learn the lesson the first time, life will let you keep repeating that experience until you learn. That can lead to moments of incredible frustration. As you've heard me say one too many times, I over commit myself. In the moments that I think I can't possibly keep all my balls in the air I have to smile and realize I'm just not learning this lesson. You might remember my goal to wait 30 minutes before comitting to anything and I'm proud to report that I have been abiding by my waiting period as well as saying no more often. So, while that would have been a perfect resolution for me, I'm just going to have to find something else.

My resolution last year wasn't too lofty, just to waste less food. I tend to buy more than I need and let food go bad and throw it out. I did a pretty good job this year of buying fewer groceries, and throwing less out in the end. In the past I've resolved to be nicer, slow down, do more yoga, and call my mom more.

leading FREEdOM Flow 

I'm in a plane right now on my way to family vacation (mind blown by technology, wifi in a plane, who knew?) and I can't help but reflect on my year as I sit in my seat. 2012 has been one of the craziest years of my life without question. I completed another yoga teacher training, started teaching at Green Monkey, painfully ended a long and amazing relationship, started my LLM in Taxation, secured my dream job for after law school, and started a brand spanking new relationship that I couldn't be more head over heels about. Just writing it all out is exausting. I am beyond brimming with gratitude for my year, but I can't help but remember (with thanks to this blog) some of the tougher moments that I have gone through this year. It's with all these changes in mind that I've been trying to work out an appropriate goal for 2013.

This upcoming year promises to be another year of change, only this time I know it's coming, where as last year I seemed to be blindsided by change. I'm looking ahead to my last (thank G-d) graduation, studying for the bar, traveling back to Israel, starting a new job, and my first trial as a big bad lawyer. So when it comes to goal setting is setting a goal for the entire year even reasonable? I think that it might not be, I'm a big fan of small digestible goals, so I'm going to go for four smaller goals.  So here they are, in cold hard ink, which means you get to hold me accountable to them, which is very very very very scary.

1. Run my second half-marathon, beat my time from the first one.
2. Master my headstand.
3. Blog more than twice a month.
4. Keep in touch with the people I love more.

I wish all of you a great finish to 2012, fill it with the people you love, tell them that, maybe even a little more than you usually would.

Namaste,
Rachel

Look at the hot girl in front of you, OK now you're done

Anyone who knows who Bryan Kest is will understand my complete and utter excitement that I had the opportunity to take a 3 hour master class with him on Sunday. Bryan is the creator of power yoga as we know it, and he is the most no-bullshit person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.  He opened his talk by saying, "Well, I could either start by talking to you about how you bring your shit into yoga and you turn yoga into shit. Or we could talk about how every fucking yoga pose is stupid."  Welcome to my head spinning around in exorcist circles in shock at this man and his theories on yoga.

packed class for Bryan Kest

So Bryan talked for an hour about how we are polluting our bodies by polluting our minds with stress and killing ourselves, about how we spend so much time competing in yoga that we lose the whole purpose of the practice. He also managed to say shit and fuck more times than I thought humanly possible in that time frame, as well as the phrase "kunalindi shooting up your asshole" multiple times.

Let's just remember the reason that the yoga asana practice was created, so we could sit on our asana and meditate for longer. It wasn't so your abs would look nice in a bikini or so you could bounce a quarter off your tush. Those are just happy side effects of the practice.

The idea that really stuck with me of Bryan's was the idea to not look around the room.  He started the class by bringing us to virasana, or sitting on your knees, and telling us to look around the room.  "This is it for the rest of the class, look around, see what you need to see. OK, now you're done and you can practice without looking at anyone else." You've heard other yoga teachers say it, you've heard me say it, don't worry about what other people are doing on their mats, there is no competition in yoga.

no peeking 

Bryan took this idea a step farther, don't even look at the person next to you because the person next to you doesn't matter to your practice. All that matters in that you are getting the full benefit of your practice, and the only way to get the full benefit is to not look around the room and stay on your mat. We talk about keeping the mind still, staying with your practice for the hour or hour and a half you're in class and not letting the mind wander off the mat, how about not letting your eyes wander off the mat? How do you think you're going to stay present on the mat with your mind if you're checking out the guy with no shirt on in front of you.

Bryan made another point that spoke to me, as long as you are in your fullest expression of the pose you are getting the most benefit possible from that pose.  That means if you are doing utanasana, or as Bryan might remind us, bending over and touching your toes, you don't have to look like everyone else to get the same benefit as the person next to you. If you bend over and your fingers are a foot off the ground, but you push your sit bones back, your stretch your neck down, you engage into the quads, and open into the hamstrings, you are getting the same benefit as the girl in the lulus who's head is on the floor.

I would venture to say that bendy lulu chick might be getting less intense of a stretch than you are. That means you Mr. or Ms. with the strained face and the "inflexible" hamstrings are getting more benefit from your forward fold than lulu in the front row. Look at that you won. Now put your head down and stop looking around.

Namaste,
Rachel 

getting light

So you've heard me talk write (or maybe talk if you're in Miami and you come to sweat your asana off with me) about a heaviness in your practice.  Yoga has gotten me though some rough stuff in my life and I cannot encourage you to do anything better than get on your mat when your life is feeling terrible.  You will feel better there, I can guarantee that.

But a light practice, if you've experienced it you know what I'm talking about, its the best feeling. Those days when you float on your mat, you do things you never even imagined you might be able to do one day.  Your mind isn't jumping around, you just get down and get to sweating and you're so happy the entire time you're practicing you could just break into a little yoga dance. So you do a million vinyasas, because that is our favorite dance move.

My friends, let me tell you something, I have been having a lightness in my practice that I have never experienced before.

Add to that that people have been commenting on how happy I am.  So, a little part of me wonders just how miserable I've been due to the number of people commenting on my newly cheery attitude, but the rest of me doesn't really care. Yep, I'm a happy girl, happy on my mat and happy off my mat.

 I've actually been able to get onto my mat and practice more than ususal.  For me, and I know for so many others, our biggest complaint about our practice is we don't have enough time. It is almost impossible for me to get 2 hours to play on the mat. So I don't practice for 2 hours. I go play around for 15 or 20 mins before I teach. I throw my headphones in and listen to some of the new jams I've been introduced to and just mess around a little.

And you know what, my body and mind are grateful for the release.  My practice, in those few minutes is playful, there is no time to get down on myself or the new tightness I'm feeling in my hips (thanks to my ironwoman friend who has forced me to become a runner again).

Yoga is fun. Its supposed to be playful. Its so easy to forget that when you look around the room and see people with "perfect" practices or amazing bodies all around you. So my charge for you is to get on your mat, even for 5 mins. When you walk by a tempting wall just kick up into a handstand (I was doing arm balances outside of a starbucks yesterday). I can promise you a few things.  You will have fun. You will engage in conversations with some interesting new people, who will compliment you.  I'll see you on the mat my sweaty friends, even if its just for a few minutes. 

I also promised a little while months ago to post a video of me doing a crow jumpback with an explaination. Instead here you have a video of a lizard jumpback and I will give you a step by step how to.

1. Start in down dog, bring your hips up high, tuck the tailbone under, engage into the core.
2.  Step the foot forward into lizard lunge, keep the back knee up KEEP YOUR CORE ENGAGED (imagine how annoying I am when I repeat that in class). Press into both hips evenly opening into the hips. You should stay here opening up for several breaths.
3. Start to work the shoulder under the front leg. You can take your hand and shift the calf muscle to help the shoulder under as you see me do.
4. Straighten the front leg out, press into the hands, clawing the knuckles into the mat.
5. Start to lift the back toes off the mat, coming into the arm balance.
6. Pressing deeply into your hands shoot your legs back to take your vinyasa.
7. Feel like a bad ass.
8. Make a video and send it to me :)


Namaste,
Rachel 

apathy: the most un-yogic trait you can possess

Friday is usually my morning to sleep in late, take a nice long run, go to the dog park, and hang out. But this morning my alarm went off early and I jumped out of bed, put on real pants (ones not made out of spandex) and went to city hall to vote! This was my very first presidential election voting in person and after waiting for an hour and a half in line at 7am, I finally got to vote. And it was awesome.

waiting an hour and a half was not so awesome, but this view while waiting was

I headed to the dog park, still wearing my "I voted" sticker, smiling my "I just acted as a concerned citizen smile." Where someone remarked that he wasn't voting because "it doesn't matter" and "[I'm] retarded if [I] think [my] vote counts"  My head spun around and flew off of my body. Literally. A good Samaritan had to go retrieve it. Don't worry I've put some arnica and tea tree oil on it, its fine.

So, beyond the fact that its 2012 and this man used the word retarded, which is completely and utterly unacceptable, this man doesn't believe in voting. It is taking all of my effort to not go into a rant about how incredibly blessed we all are to have the right to vote, which remember is not a right in many places. Until recently women and people of color couldn't vote. But, I won't go there right now.

Let's talk about voting from a perspective of just being a person who is alive in the world. Forget about your political affiliations, the issues that press your buttons, just think about being a citizen who walks around in the world every day. You have to care about what is happening around you. You breathe air, you drive on roads, you see people jobless and homeless on the street, a crazy hurricane just hit New York. How can you not care?

Maybe this is a result of having the mother that I do. A mother that made it clear that the problems of the community were my personal problems. A mother that made it clear that it was my responsibility, as a person who was educated and lucky enough to have rights and privileges that other do not enjoy, to make sure the world was a fair place.

What's my point here you might ask, and how does it relate to yoga? OK I'm getting there, hang on.

Apathy. That is my point. Not only is apathy just about the most unsexy quality a person can possess, it is also makes you a terrible citizen and person. Yea, that was kinda harsh, but I also think its very true.  I don't know when people thought this became cool, but evidently there are people that think not caring is cool. It isn't.  It is extraordinarily lame. As lame as using the word retarded as a slur.

In yoga we dedicate our practices to bigger ideas and things that need our energy, we as teachers dedicate our time through karma yoga, we as yogis go to charity class after charity class donating our time and money, we care. So I recognize that I'm preaching to the choir, but you the choir are out in the world with these apathetic people, they roam amongst us, dressed like regular citizens.

If you are apathetic to the world around you, you are barely a part of the world around you. We say it in yoga about the breath, if you aren't connecting with your breath you haven't even walked into the studio yet. So I'm saying this, if you don't care about what is happening to the other humans roaming the earth with you, you haven't even walked into the world yet.

Yoga is all about caring for the rest of the world around us. Sure we care for our own bodies and minds, but we also care so deeply for our fellow humans.  It's the whole meaning of namaste, we look into the eyes of any other person and see the higher power within them.  We can't just say namaste at the end of class, we have to live namaste. If you look someone in the eye and say "I see the higher power in you and I love you for it," you must care for that person.

Namaste,
Rachel


ps- A special happy birthday to one of my most loyal readers, my sister-in-law Jill, who has always taught her kids to care about the world around them and stand up for what they believe in.  Jill gave me my very first yoga job and I did my first teacher training in her studio! I love you!

Why saying "no" is good for your yoga

So I disappeared. Again. And why you ask? Those who know me will not be in any way surprised by this- I over committed myself. Shocking, I know.

You may remember me blogging about how I love when a yoga teacher teaches a theme in class that seems to come right from my life and speaks to my soul. I have become my own teacher. I seem to stumble on these quotes, then create a class around a theme. When I look back I can't help but think I should be taking my own advice a little more. A lot more.

I talked about priorities in my classes last week. About how each thing you choose to you means you choose not to do another. Thats an OK thing to do, to choose one thing over another. But I've never lived that lifestyle. I've always chosen option E: all of the above. I, for some reason think I'm sort of superhero who doesn't need to eat or sleep and can just go go go all the time. I, unsurprisingly, am not actually a superhero.

So why do I keep doing this is the first question? Quickly followed by how do I stop doing this.

Last week I taught 11 yoga classes. Yes, its actually possible to do that and go to school full time. However, it isn't possible to sleep or eat or breathe or have friends while you do that. So I was a little miserable.

I've always kind of been of the mindset if you love something you can't have too much of it. I love teaching yoga, so teaching 11 times last week seemed like a good idea when I agreed to it. I totally overdosed on teaching though. You know the phrase if you love something let it go? I need a little leash space from my yoga teaching.

I actually managed to prioritize teaching over myself. Yikes, I'm upset just writing that out. So, I'm scaling it back a touch. Or I should say I'm going to try to scale back.

On to the next question- how do I stop saying yes so much? Because for me that is really the issue. I want the people around me to be happy, I love taking care of them, so I always say yes when they ask for anything.  You need a sub, a ride to the airport, a meal brought to your house? Sure I'll do it.

So, I'm going to have to start saying no. Much easier said than done. But don't worry I have a game plan.  From  now on when someone asks me to do something I'm going to wait at least 30 minutes before I respond. Because my tendency is to say yes immidiately, maybe taking some time to make the decision about whether I should say yes will induce me to say no more frequently.

That's the idea for now anyway.

Namaste,
Rachel

108 things I love right now

I've had some intense posts lately, but not to worry its not all doom and gloom over here. I'm a happy camper most of the time, as such here it is a whole post about happiness, gratitude, thanks, fulfilment.

108 is a significant number in both Buddhism and Hinduism, japa malas have 108 beads. So here it is, 108 things I am totally in love with and grateful for right now.

1. My puppy (you knew that was coming) 

2.The fact that you always have a chance for a new beginning
3. The awesome new yoga gig I got yesterday- hello, Fountainbleau
4. Fall break is in 3 days!
5. I will be done with corporate tax class in 3 days!
6. Hot pink yoga pants

7. The ability to back up my computer
8. Actually remembering to backup my computer
9. Hot tea
10. The smell of amber oil- perfume, in hair, on my mat
11. Friends, who call me and text me exactly when I need it
12. Family, who call me and text me even when I don't need it
13. sparkling water
14. Huge kitchen table/ desk/ mail sorting area
15. Having more art than wall space
16. My ever growing yoga mat collection
17. My ever growing yoga pant collection
18. The number of oils I now own, not the cooking kind, the scented kind
19. My reclaimed love of running
20. The stack of magazines just waiting for me to take them to the beach next week
21. Cuts, bumps, bruises, scratches all over my legs from an awesome Mud Run on Sunday
22. Playing Jay-Z in yoga class
23. The yoga loyalists who show up at 6:30am twice a week to practice with me
24. lebneh
25. A best friend who is willing to g-chat all day, and supplement constant g-chatting with at least two phone calls in order to deal with emergencies such as: I'm not sure which shade of hot pink to paint my nails, I'm not sure if I'm doing anything right in my life, I'm not sure what to teach my class tonight.

26. the feeling of settling into savasana after a super hard practice- what can I say I love lying in a pool of my own sweat
27. the temperature is FINALLY dropping- it just might get down to the high 70's next week
28. I get to go to the beach in the middle of October
30. the feeling when a yoga teacher opens the door after a sweaty hot practice and a breeze rushes into the room
31. waking up before the alarm goes off and feeling totally rested
32. a little sister who regularly dances around in a leotard and fur vest (don't worry Bex I'll save the video for a special occasion)
33. Orchids
34. Coconut Oil. In food. In hair. On skin. Its literally the greatest product in my world
35. Carmex- specifically vanilla flavored
36. Coffee- especially when someone else makes it
37. practicing yoga in complete silence
38. the moment your yoga teacher says something that you're positive they pulled directly from your life
39. Brie
40. My grandma, who I get to have lunch with every week
41. Spotify
42. Stealing my friends playlists off Spotify
43. Homemade Chex Mix
44. Taking really deep breaths- go ahead- take the deepest breath of your day so far
45. Peonies

46. salted caramel
47. Living on the water and looking at the ocean every day
48. gin and tonic
49. red string on my left wrist
50. Pomello
51. Bravo TV
52. having the nickname bunny

53. random acts of kindness
54. large mugs
55. cinnamon anything
56. sock buns
57. "re-purposing" ugly run t-shirts into cute racer back tanks
58. hamsas
59. being able to walk in very high heels
60. cold watermelon on a hot day
61. down dog. it just feels so damn good.
62. ballerinas doing yoga

63. weekends full of DIY ambition
64. throwing weekend ambition to the wayside in favor of a new unplanned plan
65. G-chat
66. the song yoga girl

67. bows
68. Moroccan inspired decor
69. raspberries - especially when eaten directly from the container
70. freshly washed sheets, especially when they're white. especially when I didn't have to wash them.
71. refined sugar
72. being introduced as someones yoga teacher
73. Israel

74. quotes like this one "We must be our own before we can be another's."
75. and this one "in the depths of winter, I discovered there was in me an invincible summer" -Camus
76. and finally this one "You are a perishable item. Live accordingly."
77. Free samples, of anything.
78. apps - both on my phone and before a meal
79. cashmere slippers
80. large candles
81. parents who are unconditionally supportive. unless I'm doing something really stupid. then they tell me.

82. avocados. with salt. eaten with a spoon directly from the skin.
83. cupcakes
84. nars laguna bronzer
85. an apartment full of pictures of incredible moments
86. foam rollers
87. to do lists
88. knowing that all the challenges that seem impossible today will be just a blip a year from now
89. a cool breeze in the middle of insufferable heat
90. driving aimlessly
91. baby goats

92. braids
93. yoga workshops - the nerdier the better. past life regression- yes please.
94. being so exhausted after a workout you literally feel like you've been wrung out
95. fresh snow
96. hot baths
97. sun worshiping
98. sparkles
99. Teaching 6 times a week- how lucky am I? How did that happen?!?
100. using legal jargon. current faves are evidently, allegedly, and fringe benefit.
101. sunset on a clear day when the entire sky turns shades of hot pink and lavender
102. fielding completely inappropriate questions from my mother
103. spending hours planning, prepping, shopping for, and cooking a meal for friends and then sharing it with them
104. impromptu tequila fueled happy hour on my balcony
105.Quinoa with a poached egg and a little pesto- it is literally the perfect meal, I had to stop blogging to go make some for lunch.
106. hiking
107. concerts
108. creating this list rather than studying for my exam, which is on Friday. I'm gonna go do that now.